JUST BE

Lately I haven't really known whats been going on in a way. As if I've been watching myself from above, just watching.

As my Mother beautifully explained it to me through a story, I've been working and trying to go as fast as I can and do everything for this school (as I am constantly face to face with the needs and sufferings and I am filled with compassion and the desire to do all it takes to help) that I've left my soul behind without any time to catch up. Because of that I've hit a wall the past few weeks and have been completely unable to do most things. Even getting out of bed has been a struggle and I have been slacking at completing my day to day duties for the past three weeks or so because of it. Overwhelmed and feeling completely inadequate and never doing enough for God, the students, or the school as a whole.

The biggest thing I struggle with is accepting God's love for me just as I am, doing nothing at all but being still and being His. I am all the time trying to measure up and be worthy of His love. Trying to "make amends" for my sins maybe... knowing how unworthy I am to be working in such a beautiful ministry surrounded by so much love and blessings - both here and coming from many people back home.

My spiritual, physical, and emotional health has been left behind and I've only been trying to "do" and not "be." Let me assure you that the latter should come first. And I know this, it's only hard for me to accept and sort of put into practice. And because I've neglected just being with my Beloved, I've felt dead and unable to move and do His work.

Be still and know that I am God (verse in Psalm 46). Has been the most meditative and important prayer for me for years. I've been neglecting it. If that makes sense?

He is so radically loving me that most times I don't even know what to do. I cannot explain how much He is in control of everything that happens at school and with me personally. Financial needs always being met somehow, me meeting the right people at the right time and making crazy connections, all the way to the very tiniest of things like simple laughter, hugs, and love shared between staff and children and myself. And even for myself, receiving creature comforts that aren't really missed but signs of His great love for me in small ways when they happen, especially when I was sick again in July (I want to write about all of that another time maybe as so much happened in those almost two weeks of being sick again.)

He has been so intensely pouring out His love in such a visible way to me everyday it can leave me with the feeling of being internally paralyzed because I struggle to accept it and I am being filled with such awe I can only cry and give Him praise. His love is so powerful, penetrating all corners of my heart and soul.

The fires of love are intense and painful.

Yesterday was the best day that I have had in a while. For the first time in a long time I breathed. I actually breathed. Deep relaxing breathes and quieting the noise of work, unworthiness, feelings to rush everything, my failings, my to do lists, etc., while listening to songs in Aramaic along with having times of complete quiet. I spent time with myself and didn't rush anything. I just breathed, stretched my body, and tried to Be still and know that He is God and all is okay!!

After that I was able to flow through my work at my home office and then go to school to continue planning for this week and closing up of the school for the three week holiday.

Although there has been struggles with staff and other things at school. Everyday, and especially yesterday I was able to focus and clerely see the beauty of each one of them. Broken as I am and in need of love and mercy. People who are receiving God's love and each on their own personal journey, yet in communion with us all. I wish they knew how gifted and beautiful they are and how much I, and the children, appreciate their dedicated and hard work each and everyday.

After all of the planning was done I was just with my kids, although they are not mine at all and I know this, I like to call them mine because they have certainly nuzzled their way so deep in my heart and I cannot love on them enough.

Kisses, hugs, play, Jesus, and sign language. Is there anything better?

The funnest part of our evening was the around two hours we spent doing typical village kid things. With no supplies on our hands we walked through our now think gardens, trees, and bushes finding things for making bow and arrows. Haha. It doesn't take them long at all.

So,they made their bows as I sharpened arrows for them and taught a few of the little ones how to do the same.

Then I drew a target on a tree and away they went!! Having competitions standing farther and farther back hitting the target. These kids amazed me.

It was so much fun. We all had so much fun. Pretending to battle each other (don't worry we play safe and the arrows are only small sticks gently sharpened) and running around everywhere. Shooting at the branches high in the trees, and of course continuing to hit the target so perfectly.

That was being. For all of us. Being with God in His love and joy.

Before we began to play I was even planning on going straight home to work on more things, but I am so glad I stayed.

As I walked out of my office I just starred at all of the children. Thinking again of when my Mother asked me "What makes you happiest? Do that thing." And well, playing with children make me the happiest. For those who know me, you know that I am a child at heart. I have been taking care of other peoples children since I was 13 and it is absolutely my favorite thing.

I stayed. My heart expanded and exploded with love. Bouncing on my lap, laughter, kisses, racing, soccer, silliness, and shooting. Before I knew it the sun was setting and everyone was going for bathing and I was getting on a boda to go back to Paidha where I stay.

I reached just in time for dinner. After dinner I came back to my room to notifications of three more monthly sponsors all at once!! Although I try not to fixate on money and I do trust Jesus will always provide what we need, its also something that is on my mind a lot. How could it not be? There are 30 children that without this money wouldn't be at St. Francis de Sales School for the Deaf, teachers wouldn't get paid, and we wont be able to continue on and receive more students in February, etc.

We have been praying to reach our goal of 30 more sponsors in 30 days and being able to come home to knowing were a little more closer to our goal brought me to tears.

We are still praying for 22 more sponsor in 15 days! Share our mission and join with us! Pray with us!

https://stfrancisdeafschool.com/become-a-sponsor/

https://web.facebook.com/stfrancisdeafschool/

God is so good, all the time.

All my love,

Rannah

"No my child, everything you'll need will come from me."

I was honestly not entirely ready to come back to Uganda and finding out my spiritual director and basically the best friend I have in Uganda is in the States didn’t help either. Fr. Pat, COME BACK SOON! 

I have been in Kampala, the capital, since I arrived a little over a week ago. Until today I’ve been too sick to travel or do much of anything. Woo! I have been so graciously and lovingly cared for by Holy Cross Priests and Brothers. I am incredibly thankful and beyond blessed to stay in such a wonderful place in the big city and not have to worry about anything. Brother Patrick has been checking on me and making sure I am “breathing” every day. He gave me a swift kick of humility in allowing to be cared for and knowing that it is ridiculous of me to feel like a burden. “You are way more important than my stupid emails.” His statement before driving me to the supermarket for crackers and juice.

-

The past four and a half months have been absolutely crazy, wonderful, beyond difficult, and joyful. I don’t know if I have fully absorbed all that has happened. Despite many difficulties and road blocks, there has been an incredible amount of positive growth and development at St. Francis de Sales School for The Deaf. I am amazed at all God has done. I am amazed at the development and behavioral change of our students. The government’s inspection and approval of our school was a huge surprise for me. While I saw so many things as unfinished, messy, and in need of improvement, the inspector was surprised and amazed and about many things: our overall cleanliness, health of the students, nourishment (especially knowing how many came to us very malnourished), and care that they were receiving. Everyone knows Deaf children don’t often receive the care that they need.

We now have fields and gardens growing many things, electricity and solar energy, a water system that is mostly complete (water is a very difficult thing in our area), and many renovations/building that has taken place and some that are still happening.

I’ve had incredible experiences with God’s Divine Providence both on ground working/ doing the impossible and through our donors. Times of “how in the world will we pay for this, there’s no more money” and only moments later where some beautiful soul sends the exact amount of money needed for what was needed at the time, whether is be to feed the kids for another week, buy new clothes, fix the water, or hold us off for the next weeks. Two people in particular come to mind who have no idea how much they, through their openness and generosity, in actuality, saved us during the most crucial (perfect) times. Each of them at a different time without a clue of what they had done. I was so incredibly blessed to be able to hug most of these people while visiting the States in May. 

Most times I am left speechless with tears boiling from my heart – how can I express to them what they’ve done?

Before I ever came to Uganda I would give money to a certain ministry located in Jinja, Uganda. Each month receiving the “thank you’s” and short stories. But until coming here and seeing for myself what is really happening on the ground, before working in this small village with 29 kids to care for, a school to run, and lives that are changing before my eyes, I never really understood the impact the seemingly small $25 a month was doing. Let me tell you, it is incredible.

People praise me for me work, thank me for all I do, and tell me I’m incredible. Let me tell you something: I am weak, I am a failure, I procrastinate everything, and for the past few months have been struggling in my spiritual life. Most every day I have no clue what I am doing here, only the direction He wants me to go in. I do nothing – God does EVERYTHING. I cannot express that enough or explain the reality of that.

You are incredible.

You – the one who prays for me every day and prays for our school. You – the one who encourages me from an ocean away. You – the one who works 8-5 everyday, manages a household, a family, college, your own bills, stressful life and hardships along with joyous occasions and praises to God, and in the evenings somehow remembers us in Uganda and sends a donation our way. You – who every month gives some of your tithe to our school and to myself. Helping to change the lives of children and young adults you’ve never met so they may eat another day, not have to walk a mile for water, receive a language, an education, love, care, and JESUS. And not to mention all you do for me. Making it possible for me to live here, work here, buy peanut butter, internet, and every season of The Office.

I think the biggest part of my job is to mediate between the incredible people at my Parish in my small town of Canyon, Texas along with my friends and family, and St. Francis de Sales School for the Deaf in the small village of Nyapea, Uganda; seeing that things develop and grow according to God’s plan in an honest and self-giving way.

Just a small child, crazy in love with Jesus, and doing her best to follow His will.

-

On more of a personal and vulnerable note, the past three months have been some of the most difficult months of my life. Incredible loneliness, heartache, over working, spiritual dryness and desolation, physical pain, and, more recently, sickness.

I am choosing to write about this because I have more recently come to the realization that as painful and awkward as it can be, sometimes vulnerability in the hardships of life and honesty with every aspect of what I do here is so healing and good. Why? It not only takes away my pride and twisted falseness of trying to live up to (and portray) an unrealistic and fake idea that I have previously had in my head of being a “Missionary” where everything is bubbly and beautiful, full of smiles and “I love black babies and Jesus” and it allows people to know the reality – all aspects – of what living in Uganda, being a missionary, and working here is actually like. Most importantly allows people to pray for specific intentions in regards to myself, my work, our school, and our children.

I had a very big problem with taking on too much and overworking. Overworking physically and mentally. Which was incredibly unhealthy, prideful, and selfish. Selfish in getting in the way of the Holy Spirit working the way He MUST. Prideful in thinking “it’s up to me” and forgetting that everything and everyone is God’s and He doesn’t at all need me. And unhealthy because I began to neglect caring for myself – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Neglecting prayer is the worst thing for me and for all. I am His (we all are His) and He simply wants to be with me and love me – I need to receive that love. I am nothing if not living for Him. In order to live with Him I must be in communion with Him, and make an effort to set aside time to be with Him each day – whether it be through prayer, reading, or simply sitting before the Blessed Sacrament soaking up His love and goodness. This goes along with eating (things other than grasshoppers and white ants) and getting away every now and then to rest. Something my pride never let me do.

April was the toughest. Although so much beauty and joy was all around me and every day I could clearly recognize God’s hand in everything – especially with St. Francis’ School. I myself was suffocating – feeling abandoned and alone, longing to go home to Texas. Again, I neglected myself and my needs.

My only prayer was reading poetry from a hermit and my dearest spiritual companion, my only consolation was the voice of my mother, and my only escape was running miles through the village hills. These three things were so beautiful. Having been somehow “revived” from my recent month in the States things have cleared up – so many things. I am able to look back and thank God for the hardships and breakdowns. I’m currently brought to tears at His goodness. There is so much I didn’t understand and still don’t but He always, always, work things for our good. He had been doing that this whole time I just couldn’t see it.

He allowed me to be broken down more, emptied out, and brought to what I felt was absolute nothing, only to bring me closer to Him. Jesus is showing me that only He can fill every part of my heart. God is slowly (and always has been and will be) bringing me to simply be His little child. The Holy Spirit removing my pride and selfish intentions so that He may breathe and work more fully, gently, through me.

This is a journey I (and all of us) will always be on and I am thankful for it. I long to abide in His peace, and for this I must let go and trust. Trust that whatever I am doing in Uganda is taken care of by Him – however long I am here, whatever the work, and anything with our school all belongs to Him and should be carried out in His providential timing.

I am so incredibly thankful for all of the friends I was able to see and spend time with while in America, although I didn’t get a chance to see everyone. I cannot express how much I needed that time! Being with my family was more than beautiful. My little brother and sister aren’t little anymore, but incredible young adults and possibly God’s coolest creation. My nieces, nephews, and God children are growing so quick, changing, and becoming more beautiful each day. More than any other time I felt more connected and real with friends from my Parish, my Parish priest, and St. Francis’ donors.

Oh, I'd like to mention - this whole “growing up and moving away from mom” thing is bananas, I’d like to hang out with her every day.

All my love, in Jesus

Hello February

This morning I went to Mass followed by Adoration. Christ no doubt filled me with the grace to take on today, the awareness to work in love and in joy, and give thanks to Him.

I just like to say a few (or many) things...

Our matron, Justine, is absolutely amazing. Her work ethic and joy in everything she does is something I have never seen before! She cares for all of our children so well. Sleeps with them, bathes the littles, cleans up everything imaginable, washes clothes and sheets, walks for water for the little ones, takes them to the hospital, and so much more. Today I was just amazed at everything she accomplished throughout the day.

This afternoon Ismael had been sleeping for a couple of hours in an unusual spot. But as funny and odd as he is it didn't seem too unusual. At one point though, I looked over and his whole body was shaking. I ran over and he felt as hot as the sun. His body shaking and shaking. Justine came over and picked him up and the moment she did he threw up many many times. In the smoothest and quickest way she undressed him, washed him up, gave him new clothes and took him to the hospital (which is conveniently right next door!). Prayers for little Ismael! He doesn't have malaria, just high fever and vomiting. He is being treated accordingly.

Our kids are getting more used to being here and learning to enjoy - learning! Last week we had 11 wonder/run off campus, four refused at least one meal, two of the older ones had to be chased down by myself, one tried hitting a teacher, and others crying for parents. But this week we have already seen so much improvement and change of behavior! Their signs are picking up quickly and it's both wonderful and amazing to see..They are running around playful and getting used to the routine. Today was a public holiday but there was no way of explaining that to our kids and they are all now way to anxious to be in the classroom. We taught for half the time, had a long break, and after lunch we colored for a really long time! I was amazed how focused and happy each child was to color. I will most likely have to buy more crayons next week!

Things have been crazy and I've never been more busy or thankful for the business. Due to circumstances that are out of my hands I am not yet able to sleep at the school or the parish near the school. Every morning I travel on a boda (motorcycle) to school and every late evening I come home. Everyday I bring my paper work to school, and sometimes my laptop, in the laughable attempt that I will have time to organize, write documents, and respond to emails. And everyday I end up getting home late without any of that done. And when that happens, like now for example, I can easily forget all that happens in the day and feel like a failure instead. But little by little it will get done. Slowly by slowly as they say here..

I am overwhelmed and amazed at everything. How far God has brought us and how everything keeps continuing and growing when it all seems impossible. There's no doubt that God and my mother have kept me alive through all of this. We are going through so many transitions at school in every area it seems. And everyday I am learning more and more about the Alur people - sometimes good things and sometimes bad/difficult things.

I am more then thankful for the prayers that I know are coming from many people and the encouraging messages and phone calls from friends and family. I am also in awe of the donations that keep coming in...that allow St. Francis de Sales School for the Deaf to continue another day.
Please pray for the 29 kiddos we have, for our staff, for our water issue to be solved, for good health to everyone (especially these little ones who have been getting very sick), the funds to continue on and expand, the grace to teach/to learn, the safety for us all, and for myself - for an increased prayer life and that I may always serve in love united with Him.

Thank you, God bless you

FUTURE DEAF SCHOOL

I am overjoyed and still in awe of God's providence...

Last week I went to the book store in Nebbi to pick up some Alur school books (I'm really trying to learn this language). One thing led to another and I found myself in the Bishops office being asked to stay the rest of the day. 

After lunch we went back to his office and discussed books, deafness, education, and the hope for a future deaf school. God did so much in a couple of hours.. Long story short, the Bishop called two men, Dennis and Jimmy, and set up a meeting for us on Friday. Jimmy teaches at a Primary school and interprets Mass for the deaf every Sunday at the Cathedral. Dennis has a business making school uniforms and has been doing his best to "mobilize" the deaf children/community and their families. The Bishop wanted us to meet and hopefully work together for the deaf..

And then a religious Sister walks in. She immediately, and seemingly out of no where, starts talking about the two deaf children under her ministries care that she is taking to a primary school in Arua. I introduced myself and told her a little of why I'm here. She continued talking about the need for a deaf school in our diocese and how she desires to be teaching at a deaf school. She is currently finishing her sign language training in Kampala. 

Ohh my, it gets better..

The Bishop started telling both of us about the recently vacant Emmanuel Center in Nyapea (not too far from Paidha). It was supposed to be used as a Catechist training center but they are instead training in another town about an hour away. The Bishop offered it to a new Congregation of Sisters but they have no need for it. 

AND RIGHT THERE HE PLACED IT IN MY HANDS TO BECOME A DEAF BOARDING SCHOOL. 

--

Last Friday I had a meeting, almost the whole day, with Jimmy and Dennis. It went exceptionally well. And while Jimmy is currently satisfied with the teaching job he has, he is more than willing to help set up a school for the Deaf. Dennis, however, is ready to teach! And I got a call the next day from Dennis telling me he has found another man who wants to teach.

Tuesday I went and visited the Emmanuel Center and...well, it is better than I expected or could have hoped for! 

I am in shock and I cannot wait for it to be filled with deaf students. I hope and pray that everything will be ready by the beginning of first term in February. 

There are so many things that have to be done before then: paper work, organization, renovation and making it more "deaf friendly", please pray for me and all who will be involved! May God grant us the means and ability for making this school come alive. It's overwhelming and crazy, yet so perfectly His. 

All praise and thanks be to Jesus Christ! 

Dormitories 

One of four grass huts

Garden area, latrine in the back

Classroom hall and teachers rooms

Animal pen

Kitchen, store room (behind)

Saraphina

I'll tell it like it is, without anything added or taken away. All glory, praise, and thanks is due to our Heavenly Father. Also, for those who have supported me financially and continue to, and to all who continue to pray for me and the people of Paidha, I thank you. Because of you my dear friend can eat another day.
..

She was walking slowly, as she always does, in front of me on the way to Mass this morning. Wearing a very worn white dress and her usual big flip flops. I skipped forward to great her before we walked in. Like always, the conversation was short due to the language barrier. She is beautiful. After Mass she hung around until I came out. I didn't know where she went so I continued on until I heard her call for me..

She's an old and frail women, weak and tired. Beautiful and reverent. She has tribe marks on her forehead, revealing a story that I would love to hear - mostly the part about her conversion and first sight of God.

Since the first time I met Saraphina she has looked at me with the same longing and glistening in her eyes as she asked me for food. I had nothing to give her, only my prayers. My heart ached for her and I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God what He wants me to do. I insist on doing all things through God, with purity of intention, caring from my depths for the one in front of me in a way that is willing the good of them, without my sometimes uncomfortable self getting in the way. You see, there's still much I have to learn. Both spiritually and culturally. The language is a big one as well. I am happy that love covers all and that those who are hungry can always be fed, despite any barrier or difference.

The first time I had tea with her was a Saturday morning. After Mass she came with me into my home (home being my room and sitting room at the rectory) and we ate breakfast together. She told me she went to bed very hungry and has been praying for a meal. Our conversations were filled with mostly laughter, only because my Alur isn't that good at all and she only knows a few words in English. All the same, I know we both enjoyed it.

Afterwards we collected some small fire wood from the Church and we went to her house. It is not too far from the Church, but for an old women it takes a while. She lives in a small hut by herself, near a garden with some graves in it. Her husband and all of her children but one, have died. We sat down in the dark room. She looked around putting her hands up with a shrug, and told me her house is bad (the expression is different in Alur).

Many children and young adults came to see what the white lady was doing there. It was my first time going to this small area of Paidha. They blocked all the light from entering Saraphina's home and giggled at my attempt to speak in Alur. I didn't stay long though..

That afternoon Obedi and I went to the market to buy food for the Church and for her. Evening came as we returned to the Church, Obedi went to cook supper and the seminarian, Francis, went with me to bring Saraphina food.

When we arrived, she was looking for more sticks and things to use as firewood in the garden in front of her house. I could see the joy on her face as she saw the food we brought. We all sat in her home and the seminarian translated for both of us. She talked of her husband and children's death..

"I am all alone in my poverty, all I can do is pray. I've been praying for you, Rannah, since you got here. There's nothing else for me to do, I just go to Church, and I pray."

She continued talking about prayer, Rosaries, her hunger, poverty, and trusting in God. She thanked God countless times for the food, recalling all of her prayers and hope. I broke down. She said "No, please, don't mind."

There is a heavy weight of physical poverty and brokenness that I can only see through my small eyes, not having experienced it myself. With compassion and pain in my heart, Christ has been allowing me to experience the tiniest bit of pain He feels for His beloved daughters and sons. I can't explain God's amazement, light, and love through Saraphina's eyes. I gave her food for her body. She gave me the love of God for my soul.. For it is Christ who is hungry, Christ who is poor, it is Christ who we serve through the poor in this world. What a treasure it will be to become one with Saraphina. No, what a treasure it is to be one with her, after all we are One, in Him and through Him. Every morning receiving the Eucharist with her - Christ's body and blood given for us, so we may all be ONE in Him.

All I could do is stare into her eyes, like Mary at the feet of Jesus, taking in every word He says. I see my grandmother in her and I see my mother. Who will care for my grandmother? Will I be there to care for my mother in her old age? Are you there to care for yours? Oh, how the Lord's way is good, perfect, and true.. His love manifests through eternity and brings comfort to all..

..

Obedi and I went to the market this morning and bought lots of things. We carried them in big bags on are heads from the market, through town, down and up the valley of green grass and tall trees while children yell "rabolo" (banana: my name in sign language), past the graveyard behind the Church, through the village huts, finally arriving at Saraphina's house. Her son was there this time. Old, poor, and malnourished as she - with the same inviting and beautiful smile. Pounding away at dried casava for cooking into kwen. He lives here in Paidha "just the other side", as they say. He also has no money or ways of helping. He came over today to share a meal with his mom - in the hopes there was food! In God's goodness He provided!

I was saddened to hear from Saraphina that some of the food I brought last time had been stolen. It seems there has been bitter talk of Saraphina having this "new friend." She said jealousy perhaps, and so they took from her. Hmm. Although she hid the food and soap, they came in and went through everything to find it. Only though, they didn't take all. They left some for her. There isn't the tinniest bit of anger towards them from any of us, because well, they must be hungry too! Perhaps the person had kids to feed. What would I do in their position? What would you do? If only they had the faith to hold on, and perhaps the courage to ask? Ahh, I can't pose any advice, I am ignorant of the situation. Pray with me that they too may be filled, in an honest and eternal way!

Obedi and I walked home slowly, talking of poverty, culture, and asking each other questions. She asked me, with a puzzled look on her face, if I will help others like Saraphina, or if its only her. I told her yes, yes I will. The person God places before me I will help in the way I can, the way He asks, praying always that I will receive them all the more!

We must help each other in this world, each giving and each receiving at all times, most of all, though, be giving to and receiving from Our Father!

St. Teresa of Calcutta, pray for us!

Nyapea

Obedi and I took a boda to Nyapea and then walked through village for a while to reach her garden.
This was the second time she has taken me there. I really love it!

We went to dig in her garden and get ready for planting beans, potatoes, and casava.

As we were walking to her garden we stopped at some random hut where a women was cooking some local alcohol. Obedi insisted I try it, so I did. It was horrible. SO BAD. It was clear, hot, and very strong. I took a tiny sip and thought I would puke. Obedi happily drank the rest (not a lot). I felt it in my head and my stomach the rest of the day.

We arrived at her garden and first sat and watched as one of the men working there burnt some of the dead bush/tree/plant things (Obedi didn't know the name). There were a couple of monkeys running around and hanging in the trees. When the fire started they ran away!

It is really peaceful and quiet out there. Her garden is on a big slope with a creek at the bottom. Far off in every direction there is more gardens and huts, or just rolling hills of green beauty.

When the burning was finished on one side I went there to dig while Obedi went to the opposite side to gather more of the dead bush tree things to burn. There was a random onlooker who just could not believe that a white person could dig.

It is hard to dig. The ground was covered black with ash and under all of that was deep roots and big rocks. Obedi didn't let me dig long in fear of me getting too tired. If you know me well enough you'd know how absolutely weak my arms and shoulders are. I tried my best as I really wanted to help Obedi, but I was happy when she made me stop. I joined her in moving these big things (I really wish I knew what their name is) into a pile to burn.

We didn't stay for to long. The work we needed to do was finished and the rest of the digging was to be done by two men who she paid to work there. We walked the far ways up the hill and through the bush to reach her aunt's home.

Before we reached we ran into Obedi's cousin who was picking coffee beans. He was a very kind and funny man.

He insisted that Obedi take a picture of me so that "my family can see what I did today."

Food is important here. Food and people - relationship, guests, gifts, and respect. 

"Love, generosity, and the joy of opening the doors of one's home to neighbors or to strangers always tend to enlarge our hearts; "our heart is wide", Saint Paul said to the Corinthians (2 Cor 6:11)." - Robert Cardinal Sarah

Obedi's brother, Brian, met us and brought us milk and biscuits. So we gathered in the hut and shared those. 

Brian said and did many funny things that I just didn't understand. I wasn't sure the whole time what was more "cultural" and what was just silly.. I'm not even sure how to explain them here. He seems to be a good man but he is very stubborn. *The word stubborn here, in Paidha, is used both the same way American's use it and also differently. It covers a rang of behaviors of people, animals, and items. Someone who jokes a lot and is very funny is considered stubborn. Someone who beats his wife is stubborn. The door that wont open is stubborn. Someone who takes too much alcohol is stubborn. The chicken you can't pluck easily is stubborn.* 

Brian - is stubborn in a different way that people say Obedi and I are stubborn. Uhm, I'll just leave that there.  

All was well though! 

After eating some of the biscuits and milk, Obedi's aunt brought us water and pumpkin. We all shared that and before the food was gone I had to stop eating because I was so full. But did the food stop there? Noooo.

Obedi then left Brian and I in the hut and went to the kitchen (another hut pictured below) to cook for us. I don't know why. I asked her and all she said was "I have to cook for you, I just have to." I told her how not hungry I was but she insisted.

I sat with Brian in the hut for an awkward almost hour. Picking thorns off of my skirt, talking about America, talking about how he wants to treat his future wife, he told me about his children, school, land, gardening, etc.

Obedi came back with kwen, beans, and eggs. Again we washed our hands and began to share the food. I tried to eat as much as I could but I really just couldn't eat anymore!

We hung out with some kids outside for a little bit after. It mostly consisted of me making funny faces and doing random things to make them laugh. Some of the younger kids, though, cried when they saw me and ran away.

This baby though, for whatever reason, didn't fear me.

Being out there in the village again with Obedi's family, friends, and neighboring people, bring a lot of things to my mind and to my heart. 

Things I haven't yet learned how to write about. Only to be kept in my heart and lifted up in prayer to God, as Fr. Emmanuel tells me. 

Obedi, Brian, and I ventured back to the town of Nyapea. It was walking and laughing mixed with sudden bursts of running from Obedi and I as Brian tried to keep up.





























When we were entering the town Obedi told me "don't say anything." Uhm, okay?

We continued walking and I remembered why.. It was a large amount of obnoxious and stubborn men calling out "hey baby", "can I have your number", etc. I laughed inside and kept silent. Though, at times it can be very annoying and tiresome to hear.

We eventually got a boda back to Paidha so as not to arrive back late in the evening.

And that is the end of that story.

God bless

Back in Uganda

I love that I always seem to be surrounded by priests and religious. It is comforting and beautiful. There's always a Mass to go to and plenty of great discussions about Jesus. 

I arrived in Uganda two weeks ago and spent that first week in Kampala at the Bishop McCauley house. It was so great to talk to my spiritual director there and get some guidance. Although I had planned on going straight to Paidha the day after I landed, God had other plans. 

I couldn't be more thankful for a week of working with BDI to find Jonathan and bring him back to school. God's timing is always the best. So unexpected, yet perfect. Sweet Jonathan returned to BDI last Saturday. Seeing him happy at school filled me with so much delight and thankfulness to God. 

He arrived wearing a t-shirt and shorts, nothing else. He also had a rash all over his body. The head teacher of BDI and I went shopping that day! We got him all of his basic necessities as well as medicines for the rash. It was beautiful to see the absolute joy and delight he was filled with when we gave him all of his things. His joy is surly contagious - pure and beautiful. 

We also found out that he was born in 1999. That makes him now 16 or 17, which is so crazy! He is much bigger now..every part of him. I am so thankful to everyone who has been praying for him and helping to find him and bring him back to the school. It brings me so much peace knowing he is safe and in a very loving environment. 

I spent some days at the Deaf school teaching some of the children how to play chess. I love watching their faces as they are catching on to things! It is so great being able to visit the Deaf school whenever I am in Kampala. Receiving love and giving love to these kids, learning more about each one, and talking about Jesus is always so wonderful. Sign language definitely makes scripture stories more vibrant and seeming alive. 

          

One evening we had to walk for water. The tank didn't have enough water in it - perhaps it needs to rain! It was crazy though. For them, walking for water is normal. Walking in the dark with no parents is also normal. Davis, one of the older kids, is so good about making sure everyone is together and safe - especially when crossing the busy street. As we were walking back it was dark and the "mzungu, babi come here" comments were increasing. I was in mother mode and just wanted to make sure all the kids got back safely. At the same time trying to ignore every comment but keep watch for any weird guys approach. I was so happy and thankful when we got back to school! 

I love Uganda and the typical TIA way of doing things. Monday morning I took a boda 40 minuets away form where I was staying to meet Joel and get a few things that I had left when I went to America. That man, talk about wonderful. I just need him in my pocket for the times when cultural understanding is difficult, when I am sad, or when I need someone to pray over me. It was SO wonderful to hear all of his advice and prayers. We rejoiced as we talked about Jonathan's return. God is so good. He is really doing wonderful things through him, and through many, for the children of BDI. I pray that their new school gets finished soon and that the lives of the Deaf children there continue to prosper and that they grow closer to Jesus always. Pray with me?

Anyways, I rushed back to the Bishop McCauley house to get all five of my heavy bags together and put them on bodas. That was fun. The bus leaves at noon and I think we had about 15 minuets to get to the bus park. So off went, me on one boda and my luggage on two others. Traffic was crazy busy and I didn't know if we would make it. In God's goodness and love we arrived at the park with time to load on. I was the last to get on the bus but it all worked out.

My last bus ride experience had me a little "shook up" so I really prayed hard that everything would go okay this time. I didn't write about it because I wanted to tell my mom in person about how fine everything was. But the last time I rode with Vickie, friend from DK, the bus broke down two times for many hours. We arrived in Paidha at two in the morning with no bodas to take us to the church. Long story short we got attacked. But God was ever present and sent two men who heard me screaming to come and save us. No scrapes, bruises, or stolen things - God is gracious and kind.

Naturally, the bus on Monday broke down at one point. I just started laughing. Black smoke coming out and all the men got off to go look at the problem. I laughed and laughed because what else do you do? Msgr. Opio had been calling me periodically through the trip to make sure everything was okay though. So he knew we were broke down and where I was in case something else happened.






























I arrived in Paidha somewhere around 9 pm. I was SO happy to see one of the the cooks, a seminarian, and two priests waiting for me there. It made for a super easy and safe transition. Warm welcoming too. I think Msgr. Opio gets more precious every day!

These few days in Paidha have been great - normal feeling. Msgr. Opio was so overjoyed and grateful for the gifts he received from my spiritual director in Texas. I was able to bring many vestments, chalices, and patens. Just an absolute wonderful gift! I also gave Msgr. Opio and Fr. Joseph their (late) fathers day gifts. A rosary for each along with a notebook with prayer intentions and notes of encouragement from many friends back home who have been praying for each of them. They send their thanks and blessings to all of those who have been praying for them. Truly a dear and special gift.

I was so happy to finally see my good friend Obedi/Christine! I hated that I had no way of calling her when I was in the States. I think everyone else was happy for our reunion as well - we are two very energized and stubborn girls. The mix of us is wonderful, I think. We walk the streets and get the funniest comments. Obedi, really, makes everything better. I can never get away from being a shock to people as I walk around. "Heyyy, American height" "Obedi, why are you walking with my girl?" Most of the time it is light and fun humor. Something I am still trying to get used to here is the joking and humor between the people of Paidha. To me, some of it could seem offensive or aggressive (maybe too "ohh babi"). Just by listening to the way Obedi and others, even strangers, relate to one another is really interesting. You have to learn to be witty and sarcastic right back.... It's like an acceptance thing if you do. When you are able to joke with others it brings you closer to them - in a friendship/community way.

I still have so much to learn. I am happy though, that my Alur is sticking with me. I am always listening and learning so many things. I have a long way to go - well, we should forever be learning. But to be able to get further into the community, even at a basic level, still takes a lot. I learn a whole lot from the children. Most refuse to speak English, even though they know it well, because they are shy to speak it in front of me or because they are so stubborn and want to be ridiculous and say silly things without me knowing. I am thankful for always having some sweet girls around me to help me pick up on the conversation.

Blessings