There is so much to soak in... God has been transforming my heart and mind through the people of Paidha. The vision of what He wants from me here is becoming more clear with each day. I am begining to understand many things that before I only perceived, and percieved wrongly at that. It takes a lot of "shutting my mouth" and trusting to understand certain things within the community.
My rushed heart to fix things quickly and take hold of the problems here has and is continuing to slowly drift away.. Realizing my powerlessness and need for Gods complete hand in doing everything! So that, through me, all things will be done by Him and in accord with His will. Ohh, the mess I would make if I fought this!
The things I once saw with my eyes as are now being seen in a deeper way through my heart.. in regards to the poverty and ways of helping. Many judgmetns or misconceptions of things have left me. What is continually being brought forth from God is the need for relationships and love. Simply being. Ahh there is so much to say and I have a lot of dificulty with words, especially when it comes to explaining things that can only be understood through experience.
Simply being here does in no way take over or get in the way of the desire to serve that God has placed within me, if anything it only increases this desire in a more trustful and pure way.
The kind of trust that Blessed Mother Teresa had in God, that He, through her, would do what He wanted. The trust that there would always be one more bowl of food and one more bed for a soul to rest in. The trust in His timing in everything. There were countless things that Bl. Mother Teresa prayed and waited for and knew that if it was to be it would, through Him. I ponder these in my heart as I continually pray and wait for a more active form of service to begin - all while knowing that it will in His time.
As of now, it is the time of receiving for me. One cannot give if there is nothing to be given! What would I have to offer the Alur people without first understanding the true needs that they have? The culture? Most especially, what would I have to give if not having God's divine plan being carried out? "Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence" - if you havn't read it, you might consider.
Love is so wonderful, universal, and can be given and received at all times. I have been receivng love from so many people. My friends here are wonderful and the Church comminity as well!
At times I miss my church community at St. Anns. I have enjoyed getting know people there over the years and seeing there faces often.. It brings me peace to remember everyone.. The priest, deacons and their wives, the extraordinary ministers of communion, youth leaders, sunday school teachers, all of the youth and children, those serving the hombound, the daily Mass crew, parish staff, and everyone else! Although I don't know the names of many who attend Mass at St. Anns, I cant forget the faces. There is definetly, for me anyways, a deep sense of acceptance and community there. I remmeber the small peace in seeing someone outside of Mass and just thinking "hey, I recevive Jesus with you every sunday." The most wonderful thing on earth.
This community and recognition of the people at St. Anns is now being deveolped here. Living at the church also helps a lot! I'm getting to know the parish staff, deacons, catechists, daily Mass crew - everyone. And the youth..oh my goodness...these kids come by the hundreds. How I will learn all of their names, I have no idea! I trying though. I ask constantly to tell me their names! Walking through the village I always here my name or "rabolo" (meaning banana) being called out. They run up and we chat. They giggle at the things I say in Alur and are always teaching me more things to say! Kids are SO wonderful. The joy and reverance from so many of these children druing Mass or just playing around the Church is something I have never seen before. A true recognition, from even the youngest, of who it is that is truly present in the Church and at Mass.
Playing with them is amazing. We have so much fun! Always silly faces, dancing, football (real football), singing, teaching me Alur, and of course learning names! My camera gets passed around as they dance and do crazy things. Then we watch the videos, look at pictures, and laugh so much! I could go on forever about so many of the children..
I look forward to the years to come watching these children grow, getting to know more families, building deeper relationships, and serving in the way God asks me to!
Please pray for the people of Paidha, the priests, and for me - that we may all carry out Gods will in our lives.
Blessings
No comments:
Post a Comment